Maternal Mental Health
Most of us spend our entire lives wanting to be mothers. My daughter (now 7) has mothered countless baby dolls. Daily she mentions wanting to have children with this fantasy that having a real-life baby is as simple as taking her care of her baby doll. And then she leaves it in the middle of the hallway for me to trip on.
I remember when I was pregnant with my baby girl. The little baby kicks were a blessing. The heartburn, the trouble sleeping, the backaches were relentless. I couldn’t wait for her to be born. Everything would be easier once she was born and then I’d have my baby in my arms, that was the fantasy. Then she was born and I remember in those first weeks thinking it was actually easier having her inside.
As a culture we need to normalize the disillusionment of motherhood.
Mothers are the strongest people I know.
Support is needed for the prenatal period.
I remember discussing my mental health risks with my midwife pregnant with my first child. I was at a significantly higher risk to develop post-partum depression or post- partum anxiety because I had struggled with both before. In addition to this, I had no idea about the hormonal shifts that I would be experiencing with pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding; significant drops in estrogen and progesterone affect mood regulation and were about to occur. Other risk factors included: Psychological and social: adjusting to new roles, Societal pressures, unrealistic expectations of perfection, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding challenges.
Societal pressures for new moms are never ending.
As new mothers we are more vulnerable to be impacted by examples of mothers or children who feel are thriving, especially when we feel like we are struggling. First, it’s breastfeeding vs formula, then sleep training vs co-sleeping, preschool vs socialization in the neighborhood, homeschool vs private vs public school, extra-curricular activities vs home after school. It takes a significant amount of stability for a mother to recognize that ALL of these options are good. ALL fall within a norm and ANY of these decisions will be just fine for your child. Mothers all do the best they can. How do we learn to shoulder all these expectations put on us by society and then still remain the stable safe objects are children need?
It's hard. Motherhood is not for the weak or faint of heart. Baby blues occur in 85 % of new mothers, characterized by temporary emotional sensitivity, overwhelm, and weepiness, usually resolved within two weeks. MOST mothers experience this.
Maternal mental health disorders, primarily postpartum depression and anxiety affect 1 in 5 women making them the most common complication of childbirth. Driven by rapid hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation and lifestyle changes, these conditions often go untreated and yet they are treatable with therapy, support groups and medication. How do we understand the distinction? Well Postpartum depression and anxiety often occur side by side and are hard to differentiate, however they are treated largely the same. PPD and PPA have more severe, lasting symptoms than baby blues and can occur anytime in the first year postpartum. Symptoms of concern are: persistent sadness or hopelessness, lack of interest or pleasure in activities, difficulty caring for the baby or self, severe anxiety, panic attacks, or intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts can be scary but they don’t mean that a mother plans to harm her baby, they are just overwhelming anxieties with a weight of the baby, the fragility and weight of the responsibility in front of her. Any of these symptoms are a sign that this mother is overwhelmed and needs support. Untreated maternal mental health issues can have a long-term impact on the mother, child and family, making early intervention important.
Biblical encouragement for mothers
“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” – Deuteronomy 30:19
This verse occurs near the end of Moses’ address to the Israelites, urging them to remain faithful to God’s commandments as they prepare to enter the Promised Land. God presents a clear dichotomy: obedience leads to life, prosperity, and blessing, while disobedience results in death, suffering, and curse. As mother’s we have free will and can make so many different choices as we raise our children. Well educated providers will tell us what they think is best, we need to take these things into consideration AND our gut as a mother is the most important tool. If we can’t trust it, what can we rely on in the middle of the night when we can’t figure out how to soothe our baby so he/she can rest. So many of the decisions we make as mothers are not moral or ethical, they are not life or death. God offers us so much grace as mothers. The spiritual path that we lead our children on is important and when we are surviving the early week, months, and years of our baby’s lives we can hold our hopes and prayers and God is IN it all.
Verses with encouragement for mothers. I don’t know who needs to hear these today…..
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.Deuteronomy 31:8
Moses is addressing the Israelites as the neared the promised land. God leads and protects His followers,promising His continual presence and support. You are not alone Mom. God promises this and will meet you in the darkest places.
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6
You are not alone. God is in this with you. intentional, value‑based guidance in childhood shapes a person’s lifelong direction.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
This is Paul to Philippian church while he was imprisoned in Rome. Anxiety it real. It is an emotion and we need to pay attention to it. As Christians we believe that within a posture of prayer we can ask the Lord to help us hold the weight of our anxieties, we don’t have to hold our worries on our own. This is a divine promise of peace that God offers us.
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
Isaiah 49:15
In this verse, God reassures Israel of His enduring love and promises restoration. It emphasizes that even if human love can fail, God's care is constant and unchanging. God sees you Mama. And we won’t leave you. He doesn’t leave you. Even in those moments when He feels the furthest away.
God uses skilled helpers, like therapists to encourage us and reach us in our struggles. Schedule a free consultation today to see how I may be able to come alongside you in this season.