How We Show Them God: Faith Begins With Wonder

Toddlerhood | Faith Through the Seasons of Motherhood

“Why?” Why is the sky blue? Why does the moon follow us? Why can’t I have another snack? Why did that dog bark? Why did Grandma get old? Why does God live in heaven? Why? Why? Why?

Welcome to toddlerhood. The season of big feelings, tiny bodies, endless questions, and a growing awareness that there is a whole world out there waiting to be discovered. If infancy is the season where faith begins with safety, toddlerhood is where faith begins to take on another beautiful quality: Wonder.

Your child is beginning to realize that the world is bigger than themselves. And they want to know everything about it.

Before They Need Answers, They Need Space to Wonder

Toddlers are natural theologians. They ask questions adults sometimes forget to ask. Why are we here? Where did the moon come from? Who made the flowers? Where is God? Can God see me? Is God everywhere? Their questions may seem random or even funny, but underneath them is something profound: They are learning how to make meaning. Their brains are developing rapidly. They’re beginning to connect cause and effect. They’re developing language. They’re discovering that other people have thoughts and feelings different from their own. They’re learning that some things can be seen and some things cannot. And they’re beginning to form the mental framework through which they will eventually understand concepts like love, goodness, morality, God, and faith. This is not the season to have every theological answer perfectly prepared. It is a season to be curious with them.

“Why?” Is Not Your Child Challenging You

It can be easy to interpret endless questions as defiance. Especially when you’ve answered the same question seventeen times. But developmentally, toddlers are doing something important. They are building their understanding of the world. They are testing ideas. They are noticing patterns. They are learning that questions lead to information. And sometimes, they simply want to hear your voice again.

So when your toddler asks: “Why did God make the trees?” You don’t necessarily need to launch into a theological explanation. You might simply say: “What do you think?” Or: “Isn’t it amazing that there are so many different kinds of trees?” Or: “I don’t know. Let’s wonder about that together.”

You are teaching them something incredibly valuable:

Questions are safe.

A Faith That Makes Room for Curiosity

One of the gifts we can give our children is permission to be curious about God. Faith doesn’t have to be presented as a list of answers that can never be questioned. We can introduce children to a faith that is spacious enough for wonder. A faith that says: “It’s okay to ask.” “It’s okay not to understand everything.” “God is bigger than what we can explain.” “We can be curious together.” That kind of faith can grow into something much deeper than simple compliance. It can become a faith that is able to wrestle; a faith that can hold mystery, a faith that can ask difficult questions without immediately assuming that questions mean something has gone wrong.

Your Toddler Is Also Learning Through Your Nervous System

Your child isn’t only learning from your words, they’re learning from how you respond to their emotions. Toddlers have enormous feelings and very little capacity to regulate those feelings on their own. They can go from delighted to devastated in approximately three seconds because you cut their banana in half. They want independence while simultaneously needing you desperately. They are learning: “ I am my own person.” while also learning: “I need other people.” This is a major developmental tension. And it’s exhausting.

The Tiny Person Who is OBSESSED with Control

Toddlerhood is often the beginning of a very obvious push toward autonomy. “I do it!” “No!” “Mine!” “Me!” Your child is discovering that they have preferences, opinions, power, a will of their own. And sometimes that will collide directly with yours. This can be incredibly triggering, especially if you grew up in an environment where obedience was highly valued, disagreement was unsafe, or emotions were punished. Your toddler’s normal developmental independence can feel like disrespect. But your child’s need for autonomy isn’t rebellion, it is development. They’re learning who they are. And our job is not to crush their emerging personhood. It is to help them learn how to use it.

Boundaries and Wonder Can Coexist

Making room for your child’s curiosity does not mean becoming a permissive parent. You can be both warm and firm. You can say: “No. I won’t let you hit your brother. You can be angry, but I won’t let you hurt him.” You can hold the boundary while remaining connected. You can communicate: “Your feelings are welcome. Not every behavior is.” That distinction is deeply important for faith formation. Because we’re beginning to model a God who is not threatened by our emotions. A God whose love isn’t withdrawn when we’re difficult. A God whose boundaries do not require shame. A God who can hold both truth and grace.

The love we have for our children amidst parenting comes directly from our experience of God’s love to us, it is not conditional.

What Are They Learning About God Through You?

Your children are not only learning about God from what you say. They’re watching how you respond. When they make a mistake, do you shame them, or do you help them repair? When they are angry, do you reject them; or do you stay connected while holding the boundary? When they ask a difficult question, do you shut them down; or do you become curious with them? When you make a mistake, do you pretend you didn’t? Or can you say: “Mommy was wrong. I’m sorry.” These ordinary moments can become powerful experiences of grace.

You Don’t Have to Be a Perfect Picture of God

Take the pressure off; you are not God. You are not going to perfectly demonstrate God’s character to your child; and you don’t need to. Trying to become a perfect representation of God can create an enormous amount of pressure and shame for Christian mothers. Your child doesn’t need a flawless mother. They need a mother who can repair. A mother who can say: “I was wrong,” “I lost my patience,” “I’m sorry.” “I love you.” “Let’s try again.” That may be one of the most powerful lessons your child ever receives about grace, the experience of grace.

Faith Can Be Found in the Ordinary

Toddler faith formation doesn’t have to be complicated. It can happen while you’re: watching ants on the sidewalk, looking at the stars, picking flowers, listening to rain, holding a snail, watching a bird build a nest, noticing someone’s kindness, singing in the car, praying before bedtime. Your toddler doesn’t need a perfectly curated spiritual experience. They need opportunities to experience awe. “Look at that!” “Isn’t that amazing?” Wonder is an invitation, and sometimes wonder is where faith begins to take root.

Don’t Rush to Explain the Mystery Away

There is a temptation, especially as Christian parents, to give our children certainty about everything, but toddlers can teach us something about mystery. We don’t know everything and we don’t understand everything. You can tell your child: “I don’t know,” and then: “but that’s a really interesting question.” What a beautiful message that is. You can remain curious. You can keep learning. God is not threatened by your questions.

And What About the Toddler Who Isn’t Interested in Faith?

Some toddlers will happily pray. Others will run away during bedtime prayers. Some will love church. Others will melt down in the church nursery. Some will sing worship songs. Others will yell about wanting crackers.  In my experience as a parent, it depends on the day and you can’t take it personally. 

This is not a spiritual report card. That would be like a teacher judging their abilities completely based on their student’s report cards and test score.  We all know that teachers can’t. And in this instance, we are talking about toddlers; their attention span is developmentally appropriate, their theology is going to be a little…creative. Let them be little. Faith formation is a long journey. You don’t need to manufacture a particular spiritual response in every moment. You are creating a family culture where faith is present, accessible, and connected to relationship.

Therapeutic Invitation for Mothers

Toddlerhood stretches us: your child’s constant questions may frustrate you, their need for control may activate your own need for control. Their big emotions may overwhelm your nervous system, their dependence may make you feel touched out, their independence may make you feel rejected.

And sometimes the work of parenting a toddler becomes an unexpected invitation to look inward.

What does my child’s behavior bring up in me? What did I learn about emotions growing up? Was curiosity encouraged in my childhood? Was disagreement safe? Did I experience boundaries with connection—or boundaries with fear? These questions aren’t about blaming our parents. They’re about becoming curious about our own stories.

Because the more awareness we have of our own nervous systems and wounds, the more choice we have in how we respond to our children.

A Word to the Mom Who Is Tired of Saying “Why?”

You don’t have to savor every question or respond beautifully every time. You are allowed to say: “Mommy needs a minute.” You are allowed to be tired, to need silence, to have boundaries. And you can still nurture wonder. Sometimes faith formation looks like a beautiful conversation about God. Sometimes it looks like sitting on the kitchen floor after a toddler meltdown and helping them breathe. Sometimes it looks like looking at the moon together. Sometimes it looks like apologizing after you’ve yelled. Sometimes it looks like saying: “I don’t know. But I love that you’re asking.”

How We Show Them God

In infancy, we explored how faith begins with safety.

In toddlerhood, we begin to see faith emerge through wonder.

Our children are discovering the world, they are discovering themselves and they are discovering that they can ask questions. And we have the opportunity to show them that God is not something they have to be afraid to explore. We can create a faith that makes room for curiosity, that doesn’t require perfection, where questions are welcome, where emotions aren’t shameful. A faith where truth and grace can coexist.

Because someday, our children will ask much bigger questions; about suffering, about morality, about Scripture, about doubt, about God, about what they believe. And perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give them now is the knowledge that they have always been safe to wonder. Before they learn how to defend their faith, let them learn how to wonder about it. And maybe, as mothers, we can wonder too.

Grace for the journey, healing at the root.